I had two "geriatric" pregnancies & was the mother of two under two, trying to run a business from home in the middle of a global pandemic.
I first saw a GP at 38. The anxiety was bad. The fatigue was bad. The brain fog? Also bad. These could apparently be explained by being the mother of two young children & the GP recommended SSRI's. And exercise. And a healthy diet. And maybe some meditation.
I wasn't convinced the SSRI's would sort the physical symptoms though, the dry, itchy skin, the poor night vision, the aching in my joints, my need to pee all the time, the waking at 2am & staring at the ceiling until 4am.
I was someone who had always managed to have a lot of balls in the air & manage the pressure & stress of that pretty well, but now I was melting down at the slightest inconvenience & constantly on edge.
I had stopped drinking alcohol for several years but found that even two social drinks resulted in insomnia, heart palpitations, racing thoughts & days of hangxiety. The week before my period I was lethargic, anxious & almost unable to function.
Two years after seeing the GP, I was on the edge of a full scale menty b, I had burnt out (& bought aaaaaall the self help books) & decided to sell the skincare business in an effort to reduce my stress levels. A bit of a rest was all I needed, I assured myself, before getting back to the hustle.
Lucky for me, I had two very good friends who talked me through their perimenopause journeys. Maybe, they each suggested, this wasn't burn out or high cortisol or a breakdown, it could be the turbulent trip that I hadn't booked a ticket for: perimenopause.
Encouraged by their support & armed with the information I found online when scrolling from 2am 'til 4am, I embarked on what would be another two year journey & at 42 I'm fully patched up & feel like I'm managing life much better.
I'm sharing this with you, on the off chance that you're scrolling at 2am & feeling like you're losing your mind. You're not alone, there's a whole lot of us reading the same chapter of life's story.
It's hopefully a reminder this is just a chapter, it's not the end of the story. Áine is the Celtic goddess of summer, love & light, she is a powerful force for feminine energy & renewal, leading cycles of growth, healing & tranquility.
She is us. We are her.